Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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