I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
