Sponge bath it is.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
