i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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