I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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