Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
