did you get engaged???
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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