it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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