MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
