I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize