you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
