What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
