Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
