what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
