I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
