i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
