Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
