Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
