he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Boobs speak an international language.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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