So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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