I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
