Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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