im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
