Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
