Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
