am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
