threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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