Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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