I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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