She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
