smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
