Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
