I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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