The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he puts the penis in happiness.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
