Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
