It's like God shit irony all over that family
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
