Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
