Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
