he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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