My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
