she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
