Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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