she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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