Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
