Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
