i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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