mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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