what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
