If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
