I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are we still banned from the library?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
