Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
