theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
