After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
