after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
