I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize