Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
