I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
