therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
