I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
