it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can I color on your dick again?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
